Above the city

There's this place called the Negev Brigade about 2 miles away from the house I'm in right now that overlooks the entire city. For those in Santa Barbara, it's kinda like the Arches only Be'er Sheva style (i.e. much lower and far less elaborate). It's a great place to go to get away from the hustle and bustle of being in the city. Bodies of water are usually my "sanctuary" but I've ended up in a desert without an oasis nearby, which has made "getting away" really difficult. Thus far, the monument has been the closest thing to that place of relaxation for me.

Above the city, everything seems so small. Apartment buildings that tower above the shops and houses look like little lego blocks with lights to warn helicopters of their location and roads that usually seem to wind in endless mazes become separate and trackable pathways from one area of town to the others. Even though most of the buildings are still nameless masses in my mind, when I'm up there I'm no longer lost in the midst of them.

The question that I think I get the most is "How do you like Be'er Sheva?" or at least something along those lines. Honestly, I'm not sure. It's frustrating in a way; I feel like I'm in this little bubble of separation from the world around me that I've never experienced before. I want to know what's going on around me, but even more, I want to be able to build relationships with the people around me. I mean, the people in my class are great. There are definitely people from a variety of backgrounds with just about every personality type that you can imagine, and they're all interesting and complex people united by this drive for international medicine. But still, I feel a strong urge to get to know people outside of my program, especially the marginalized or minority populations here. I don't really know how to describe it. My heart aches for something; I just can't quite put my finger on it.

It's hard for me to not really know "why" I'm here in Be'er Sheva. I guess it's one way to stop me from "doing" things for the Lord and instead just dwell in His presence and care. The Lord is so good. He knows every my every thought and feeling, even thoes that I can't put my finger on. He knows my present frustration. Today during a break I ended up outside on a lawn at the hospital praying for His direction and it was so sweet to hear Him say "each of these people was made in My image. Look for Me in them, where I am moving and working in their life and how I've equipped them to show you something about who I am. Love them, and in doing so, love Me." But what does "love" look like from my position in relation to those around me?

Above the city, it's much easier to love this place and its people. I can understand it and escape from the suffocating foreignness. And even though I would love to just set up a shack and live up there, I always end up walking back home because ultimately my purpose isn't necessarily to escape that foreignness. It's to embrace it, bridge it, love in the midst of it. I'm only having to bridge differences of language and culture. Praise the Lord that Jesus left his place of ultimate understanding and peacefulness in order to dwell in a world of sin that was utterly foreign to the perfection of heaven.